Prologue

A man will live, and a man will die. A brave man will stare into the eyes of the wolf and raise his sword, daring it to move, to act, to strike. But it is a hero that will dive into the mouth of the dragon and give all they have in trade for nothing, sacrificing without mind, without body, acting only with the calm, steady beating of their heart, so that another may have the chance to live another day. They are a spark, an ember, a flame that cannot be quenched.

It is said that the Ragnarok will come, that none will be able to prevent it. The Wolf will break free, and Surt, the Fire Lord, will rise, bringing ash and thunder, earthquakes and night. Men and Gods will wage war upon the realms, and like all living things, they will fall and die. The scourge of branches will sweep across the world in waves, unbroken, unstoppable, undaunting. It is not until those who have been chosen by the gods, the brave, the heroes, the warriors of Valhalla, give all they have to give that Surt’s reign of terror and fire will be silenced, and the realms restored, born anew…

…if the stories are to be believed, of course. The truth is in history, not legends, and certainly not stories. History shows that heroes exist, so what is the need, then, for stories? Stories show us that heroes can be found in the most unlikely of places, in the darkest of places, in the smallest of things, and in the youngest of things. What follows is but another one of those stories: a story of a girl who went to Valhalla.

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Sherlock Holmes

“My mind rebels at stagnation. Give me problems, give me work, give me the most abstruse cryptogram or the most intricate analysis, and I am in my own proper atmosphere… I abhor the dull routine of existence. I crave for mental exaltation.”

If you have yet to take the time to read any of the Sherlock Holmes stories then shame on you, just kidding… kind of.  The mind of Mr. Holmes is a fantastic world that has so much vitality it will make you look at the world in a whole new way.   His vision will make you question everything, or if his intelligence causes your head to spin as it often does to mine then you can find a friend in Dr. Watson, because he is nearly always astounded (and often annoyed) by Holmes’ abilities.

Word Value

Effect vs Affect

Many people have problems deciding which one to use in a sentence, myself included. Effect and Affect have many definitions, as most words do these days, but the definitions I’m most familiar with made me wonder about how we use these words.

Specifically, effect means the consequence of an action (cause and effect), while affect means, among other things, to pretend or to assume (to affect an accent you don’t have).

Knowing these definitions I wonder why we use the word affection to mean that we have feelings for someone. Psychologically we should have “effection” for someone, because we feel emotions for them due to their actions. To have affection for someone makes it seem as though we are putting a fake emotion forward, using it as a facade. Perhaps that is why the definition for affection as a mode of showing love is considered archaic.  Yet I know people (again including me) who use it still today.

Consider your words.

Stigma Surrounding Bipolar Disorder

I recently realized that many people have the wrong impression of Bipolar Disorder.  It is often seen as an excuse or even a lie on one side of the spectrum,  and on the other it terrifies people into believing that no one is safe around someone Bipolar.

My sister-in-law helped me to realize this when my husband told her that we don’t plan to have children of our own.  She got angry with him and said “Yeah,  your wife would probably just go all Bipolar and drown them in the tub.”

Now for those of you familiar with psychology or law this might ring a bell.  Andrea Yates drowned her five children in their tub.  However,  it was more due to postpartum psychosis than Bipolar Disorder.  Either way I consider what my sister-in-law said to be highly uncalled for.

I’m now on medication that helps me keep my moods in check,  but I went for nearly five years without it.  Partly because of my own concerns about it,  but largely because of how my controlling boyfriend (now ex)  felt about all pills,  but especially anti depressants.  If anyone has doubts about medication they should talk to their doctor,  but I’m also willing to discuss the pros and cons that I have personally experienced since starting my medication.

Now back to topic.  I’ve felt the stigma surrounding Bipolar Disorder in my family,  amongst friends,  classmates and even my old college roommate.  People tend to draw back when they find out I’m “mentally unstable.” You can see the gears going in their heads as they start to wonder how safe I am to be around.

It is my belief that I and others like me ought to do our best to combat this stigma with honesty.  Yes,  Bipolar disorder is an incredibly difficult thing to live with,  but we’re letting it get the best of us and hide us in a corner when we allow it to scare people away.   Sometimes nothing can be done,  but often opportunities for enlightenment surround us every day.

When you hear someone talking down or assuming something untrue about Bipolar disorder or any other disorder for that matter, politely correct them.

Ignorance keeps us in dark corners.  Truth sheds light,  one person at a time.

Things I Hate

an incomplete list

  • anticlimactic books
  • writer’s block
  • depression
  • sleeplessness
  • secrets
  • cancer
  • paper cuts
  • cutting my hair when I want it to grow
  • memories (certain ones)
  • not having enough time to read
  • not being able to go on an adventure whenever I want
  • diabetes